Researchers have consistently found a correlation between confidence and success. Confident people are perceived to be more attractive. They are better at sales, they do well in front of the room.
They also believe they can handle whatever life throws at them and take more risks generally, which naturally leads to unlocking opportunities. Now, if you'd like to see more of these characteristics in yourself, here's what you need to do to build your confidence and become a lot more attractive to people.
All right, so let me jump into ways to build your confidence and appear more attractive. Number one, always be ready to tell a good story. Now, even if your life is generally quiet and lacking adventure or drama, you should always be able to answer the question, what's new with something other than nothing much? Now take note confident people are conversationalists, and it's a skill that may need to be practiced a lot more if especially you're not someone who sees yourself as confident.
Are you planning a vacation? Remodeling your house? Taking your kids to some activity? You always need to find a way to be able to draw on your experiences to rope people in with storytelling. Now, there's a very powerful way that stories get people's attention every single time. And if you're able to really build the skill of telling good stories, you will always have people's attention.
When you walk into a room and start a conversation, storytelling is one of the most attractive ways or interesting ways to keep people coming back to you. Now, take a look around. Some of the biggest YouTube channels are people who are able to tell stories.
People who are able to give you value and immerse you into their private worlds through the stories that they tell. So become a good conversationalist, become a good storyteller, and that's your first tip to becoming really attractive. Number two, demonstrate inquisitiveness.
All right. Also, in the spirit of being a good conversationalist, try to show genuine interest in the people around you. For instance, here are some good ways to get people around you to actually start talking by showing genuine interest in what they're into.
So you can't just ask random questions all the time. When you engage with people, maybe you have in your mind a set of ten questions that you always have to ask. No, you need to be generally curious about people, inquisitive about people, what gets them going, what makes them tick, what's next, what's their biggest challenge.
Just questions that are going to let them really open up to you and tell you more about themselves and inadvertently keep the conversation between both of you going. If you're able to learn how to get people to open up to you over time, you tend to be the one that they come to all the time because they feel like you are a good listener and a good conversationalist. Nobody wants to talk to that person who, after the first minute, there's dead silence, awkward silence, and they're pretty much left to themselves.
So learn to be genuinely inquisitive about things that go on around you, about the people you interact with daily, and you'll find yourself in a better space when it comes to your confidence. Plus, remember that you might be asked the same questions that you are throwing to people. So always be on your guard and get ready to answer them yourself.
Number three. Number three is to practice good posture. All right? Too often, people just slouch because maybe they become really comfortable over time and sitting that way.
But when you see someone slouching, sometimes it can come across as they being uncomfortable with a situation or trying to sort of readjust themselves to become a little more comfortable. However, there's everything to gain with actually sitting up straight every single time that you can. It tells people that you're well poised and you're ready to take on any single challenge.
You'd be surprised just how a simple gesture like sitting up straight can communicate confidence to the people around you. Have you ever paid attention to a beauty queen at a pageant or to a gentleman that you really admire at, say, a conference or an event? Chances are they're sitting up straight with their head held high, and they're commanding attention just by the way they comport themselves. There's definitely something to learn in posture.
If you have a good posture, you communicate positivity and you exude confidence. Number four stop worrying about what people think. I cannot overemphasize this enough.
You know, a lot of the time, too many of us are preoccupied with how people think about us or what they think about us, how they feel about us, and that kind of thing. I know that it will take a bit of mental fortitude to be able to look past and be unaffected largely by what people think about you. But it's a really strong characteristic to learn, or a very strong skill to learn, because you see in life, there are always going to be people who will have negative experiences of you, depending on where they met you, how they met you, the kind of mood you were in, et cetera.
Not everybody will like you. Not everybody will think that you are competent enough. Not everybody will flow with you the way you expect them to.
And that is okay. Once you're able to come to terms with the fact that there are people who simply do not like the look of your face, you can live the rest of your life happy. Yes.
Because at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do, say necessarily to impress them or to make them change their opinions about yourself. And if there's nothing that you remember about this particular pointer, always remember this never let someone's opinion of you become an opinion of yourself. Stay focused, zero in, eye on the prize, and just go out there and achieve.
Success is the best way to prove everybody wrong. And if you're confident in your ways, success will come with diligence, persistence, practice, and showing up every single day whether you want to or not. Number five eliminate negative self talk.
And we all do this at some point in our lives because we're all insecure about one thing or another. But negative self talk can actually be very damaging to your progress in life because you start to believe all these negative things that you say to yourself I'll never be good enough, I'll never be pretty enough, I'll never be attractive enough, nobody likes me, I'll never amount to anything. Stop it.
Stop it right now. There's power in speaking positive things into your life. Not only are those positive things uplifting, the universe conspires with you to make things happen.
If you do believe that you're not good enough, you will always encounter people who will make you feel that way. If you do believe that you're not pretty enough, if you look in the mirror, that is the only thing that you will see. Instead of realizing that beauty is only skin deep and true beauty comes from within.
If you do not hone the habit of thinking positive thoughts every single time and as often as possible, you will miss out on the opportunity to make thoughts become positive, vibrant things in your life. If you've read the book The Secret, you will know about how thoughts become things. And so instead of speaking negatively to yourself about how you will never amount to anything, say to yourself today that you are worth it, you are capable, you can do it because you actually can believe it.
Self belief is such a powerful thing that people do not realize and do not use to their advantage. If there's something you do not know, something making you feel unintelligent, there are thousands of books, there are thousands of videos, there are thousands of literature out there that can help you improve on yourself and become better. Next, I'll say learn from your mistakes without dwelling on them.
Now we all make mistakes. I have made some very serious mistakes in my life, things that I would rather not talk about because I'm not proud of. But these mistakes have shaped who I've become today.
I've been built by the mistakes that I have made because through every single mistake has been a unique learning opportunity for me. On how I need to change things, on how I can do things better. It's okay to make mistakes, but one thing I do to counter or to reduce the number of mistakes I make in my life is by living vicariously through people.
You can't possibly learn everything on your own and indeed it will be foolish to learn everything by yourself. You can learn lessons by observing others, by learning how other people did it so that you can avoid the same mistakes that they did. For instance, you do not have to go and put your hands in fire to know that it's hot and it will burn you.
You can simply watch other people who have gone through that experience and been burnt tell you that it's actually hot and can hurt you. Right? And I guess that's really what I'm trying to say. It's okay to make mistakes.
Mistakes are a part of life. But do not dwell on those mistakes so much so that it begins to eat you up and stunt your growth as a person. Do you understand? Keep going.
Mistakes are a part of life and they are not You, onto the next point. I would say get good at public speaking.
Now we live in a world where knowledge is power and if you're able to really communicate your thoughts, your feelings and your experiences, people will begin to sit up and listen to you. Get good at public speaking. You know what people don't realize is the people who sit to listen to you are people who are hoping that you win and you stay coherent in whatever it is you're trying to communicate.
Get good at public speaking. There are several books out there that can help you improve the way you communicate with people where the world is going. At some point in your life you're going to have to stand in front of a crowd and you want to prepare for it.
You want to be ready for it. Stand in front of a mirror every day if that's what it takes and say certain things to yourself and pretend like you're talking to an audience. You would be surprised just how powerful that singular act every day can be waiting for that great opportunity where you have a chance to speak to people, impact their lives and be a positive light in their dark lives.
And finally, I'd say invest in your appearance. Dress the way you want to be addressed. And this sounds cliche, but it's actually really true, people tend to treat others by the way they dress.
I'll repeat that people will treat you better if you dress better. We're visual beings. We like to judge people by appearance.
And so if you want people to judge you positively, then you're going to have to look the part. I say fake it till you make it. You can never command any kind of respect if you do not look a certain way, if you do not present yourself in a certain way.
You need to have style, your own style and character. And it needs to come through the minute you walk through any door or interact with people for the first time. I hope that these tips were helpful and they'll help you build your confidence.
Let me tell you today, you are absolutely capable of doing whatever it is you set your mind to. And don't let anybody intimidate you. You only become intimidated when you're not at par with them, either intellectually, socially, or anything like that.
And so if you do feel at any point in your life that you are not up to par, improve yourself. Read books, read wide, read everything. Give yourself a year.
Put your head down, bury yourself in those books, and you may even become better than this person that intimidated you at one point in your life. So good luck to you and keep going, because you're a star.